The art of never learning
The Trumpers have done it again; sensible people warned them, but they voted in defiance of all reason. Although they’ve watched Donald fail continually, and gracelessly — even tragically — they pulled that lever like lab monkeys dosing themselves with cocaine. Incredibly, Donald attracted eleven million more voters in 2020 than he did in 2016, for a popular-vote total of nearly 74 million versus 63 million four years ago.
Educated liberals like to say that his voters are stupid and mentally ill. That critique could not be more elitist or misguided. Our 74 million Trump voters are neither crazy nor…
‘Spare the job creators; take us instead’
Alarmed by signs that the Biden Administration might begin clawing back a trivial fraction the Trump-era’s corporate tax cuts, or might symbolically soften a few inconsequential austerity measures, poor and working-class Republicans have begun supporting a new political action committee (PAC) created to ensure that corporate welfare is sustained, even at their expense. The PAC, called Showers of Gold, was formed by Steve Bannon and Steve Mnuchin and has raised an estimated $78 million in its first month. …
Woker than Thou
President Joe Biden has drawn a lesson from the sudden popularity of Amanda Gorman, the precocious 22-year-old poet who spoke eloquently during his inauguration about the black experience and racial oppression refracted through the Ivy-League-University perspective we so rarely encounter these days. He found her youthful optimism and earnest upper-middle-class aspirations so enchanting that he’s doubled-down on “the youth thing,” as he calls it, and has chosen, for his head speechwriter, a girl-of-color so young that juvenile privacy regulations prevent us from learning her name.
He did offer us a few hints: “She’s articulate and bright and clean, and a…
Son of Billy
Previously:
Chapter One: A Kremlin miracle
Chapter Two: The louche messiah
Chapter Three: Hoping for the best
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America’s religious leaders were bewildered and discouraged. God had clearly chosen Donald Trump to become the US president, yet folly and failure clung to him. The Coronavirus pandemic should have been his moment to rise up and emerge as possibly the greatest American president of the 21st Century, but he instead shrank from the challenge of guiding the nation to victory over its enemy, offering fatuous platitudes in place of leadership.
Would God finally animate Donald with his Holy Spirit at this…
Hoping for the best
Previously:
Chapter One: A Kremlin miracle
Chapter Two: The louche messiah
_______________
Members of America’s Religious Right prayed strenuously for guidance, insight, and understanding, but God remained silent. He spoke to no one. He explained nothing. “Lord, we beseech you in the name of the United States, your most holy and most beloved nation. Will you abandon your children in our time of need?” they cried, but in reply they heard only the echoes of their own words.
American religious leaders believed that God had positioned Donald Trump to launch a spectacular federal response against the plague — a challenge…
The louche messiah
Previously:
Chapter One: A Kremlin miracle
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As the Spring of 2016 approached, it became clear that the New Yorker Donald Trump would be the Republican nominee. Many struggled to explain this stunning development in rational terms. Only the most pious Americans realized that the will of the Lord was involved.
The people were much amused. Donald’s ideas and manner of speech were offensive, but the public found him unpredictable and entertaining. They were eager to hear what he might say next, so the news and social media overflowed with Donald. He offended entire groups with puerile insults: women, ethnic…
‘There goes my excuse for accomplishing nothing’
A hot microphone caught U.S. President Elect Joe Biden lamenting the run-off victories of Georgia Democrats Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff, who will now give his party a slim majority in the Senate.
“At least when Barack was president, we could blame McConnell’s obstruction for our utter failure to help the working class. He was such a perfect, textbook villain; no one noticed the snarling contempt we felt toward ordinary Americans,” Biden whined.
Vice President Elect Kamala Harris was in tears as she nodded in agreement. “We might have to disappoint our Silicon Valley and Wall Street sponsors with a…
A Kremlin miracle
In the primary season of the 58th quadrennial US election, the Lord summoned Vladimir Putin to the Cathedral of the Dormition, to a secret chamber known but to a handful of holy men, and spoke to him, saying: Address the people of the United States and say to them, truly you are among the world’s great tribes, but you are threatened by Enemies both without and within.
And Putin spoke to God, saying: Lord, will they listen to one such as myself?
And the Lord replied: They will indeed. For you shall conduct a vast disinformation campaign with my help…
A different kind of thinking
Sister Miriam’s habit was a discrete presence with enough mass to stir up a breeze when she passed. It made a sound that you could almost hear, but never quite. The tunic was ankle length and she liked to clasp her hands behind the scapular, even as she walked, which lent her the illusion of treading on air. Despite the layers of heavy fabric, she appeared comfortable in every season, as if the habit generated a microclimate. She was my twelfth-grade English teacher, and she gave me a priceless insight into thinking differently through writing.
She liked to say, “I…
Giving him way more credit than he deserves
We’re lucky to be alive, apparently. More than a week has passed since Election Day 2020, and, despite scores of expert predictions, there have been no organized, violent attacks against American voters or poll workers by right-wing extremists. It must be a relief to news junkies, because a few weeks ago the situation looked grim. Throughout October of 2020, in the run-up to election day, the mainstream media fired up its klaxons, warning us daily of likely bloodshed at the polls from armed militias loyal to Trump.
CBS News raised the alarm on 26 October with a piece titled Do…
